The City that Never Sleeps

Well, it’s that time of the year again, my daughter Ashley’s birthday. I remember when she was born and due around Christmas. Everyone would say, “Have her on Christmas Day!” “Have her on New Years Eve!” , like I had control on when she would come. Actually, I kinda did because I had a scheduled C section, but my doctor decided, not me.

I get so melancholy about this time. So emotional. I went to the doctor today for a routine visit and he asked me if I was depressed. I thought, “yea! that’s it, depressed!” After further discussion he concluded that I wasn’t depressed because I could laugh the next minute after I was sad, no, not bipolar he said. I think you are just overwhelmed with responsibilities. I think he is right, which brings me back to Ashley. She is my best responsibility.

When she was little and I was a single mom, it was hard. But it was mine. I did it because I was supposed to and I loved having her, my best friend, the best kind of best friend because she loved to do anything I wanted to do! It was just me and her, her and me. She could never let me down, she didn’t know how too! We were the best of friends, did everything together. She didn’t know she liked something until I showed her. I didn’t want her to miss out on anything at all. Because her birthday falls around Christmas, I promised her an experience birthday present every year. A Broadway show, the orchestra, the ballet, an off Broadway show, a trip to NYC, Center City Philadelphia to see STOMP, ice skating in Rockefeller Center, anything we could think of. She became an expert at going to NYC on the train. Saturday she turns 23 and we are on our way to NYC tomorrow! We are both excited. We will be staying at The Wyndham New Yorker, a fancy hotel. A hotel chain she now works for here at home. We have no plans, just to do what we want, when we want. We may just stand in line for seat filler tickets for a show.

Okay, I’m babbling. Her boyfriend of six years asked her to marry him and she said yes. Now I am going through the emotions of letting her go, again! I let her go when she moved out and now I feel like I have to do it again. This sucks. But I’m not going to let it, I am going to enjoy my time with her, every minute, in The City That Never Sleeps! I love you Ashley.