In a way, I do have writer’s block. I can’t decide what to write about, I have so many thoughts running through my mind, I can’t decide what to publish.
Silence is deafening. Everyone is gone. Older brother and his family are on their way back to Missouri, nephew and his mom on way back to Florida. My stepdaughter and boyfriend have moved out. Mom is back at her apartment in the retirement home. The house is silent except for the ticking clock on the wall. Here, alone, I sit and try to make my way back to my everyday, routine life. Lesson plans, homework packs, laundry, food shop, mom’s prescriptions. I didn’t talk to my brother everyday, but it still seems weird when I think about him, I have to remind myself, he is not at work, trying to provide for his family. He is not at the end of that group family chat. He won’t answer my text telling him how we are going to help mom, he won’t answer the phone when my mom wanted him to come unclog her toilet Saturday. He won’t answer the phone if I asked him to come help my husband with the leaky bathroom faucet. I just hope and think he is at peace. He doesn’t have to worry about all this everyday, routine stuff. That is my only saving grace about his death. He is finally free from all the things that burden us, everyday.
Well, I must still carry burdens and try to get ready to reenter life as I know it. Onward! I would also like to thank everyone that came out to bid my brother farewell. Other posts to thank those certain individuals will come later. Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers, I really appreciate it beyond measure, thank you.