Author: joysha2@aol.com

I can’t imagine what that reason is though. As I write tonight, I am mourning my brother’s death. He was tragically killed at his job! Sounds like a horror movie plot. No one ever imagines it can happen to you, until it does.

I loved my little brother. We all had our differences, and of course we spent 48 years together as brother and sister growing up so we’ve had our share of fights, arguments, joys, pains, holidays, births, deaths, weddings, celebrations, birthdays, everything. I just can’t help but feel angry tonight. I know I will go through the stages of grief, and sometimes I feel like I don’t have that right. I can’t imagine what his wife and children are going through. But I shouldn’t be too hard on myself, he was my brother and we did a lot together. I feel my older sister bossiness (is that a word?) coming out wanting to scream at him, wait! get out of the way dammit! He was killed at work by a malfunctioning machine. He prided himself on being a master at that stupid machine. I am mad he was in the way of that stupid machine. If I was there I would have told him to move. I would have never been at his job, so it sounds a bit far fetched.

So, we will all just go on like robots and do what we are supposed to do and go on. But now it just feels different. I will find encouragement in my class Monday morning, my kids will help me move on.

What a week! Such a roller coaster really… so many things going on at once. People say, just settle down and slow down the pace. I seriously have a hard time doing that, unless I am sick, or just don’t feel right. I lost someone who was near and dear to me, and gained a whole new person in my life! Actually, two new people came into my life, for good. And boy is one full of energy, a cute little two-year old. I always thought I was ready for a baby later in my life, as a grandparent or something. But I have come to realize, young energy is a whole new concept these days! As I look back at when my Ashley was young, as a toddler I can’t even compare to my step daughter’s boyfriend’s little girl. She is just non stop energy. I don’t know where she gets her fuel from. It must be from the leaded pump. I don’t remember children being so high-octane, are they all like that these days? I found myself needing a nap after just one day! Of course, she had no intention of slowing down… let alone for a nap!

Well, each person is different and it is in life that we meet all those differences. Life is how we deal with all these different personalities I guess. Our choices come when we decide who we prefer to spend our time with, the high-octane? or the mellow yellow crowd? It also depends on what phase of life we are in too…

Anyway, I lost a wonderful spirit this week to a drunk driver. I call her my niece but she really isn’t because I am divorced from that part of my daughter’s family, technically. I haven’t talked to my ex-husband in a very long time but I talk to his family at least everyday, why is that? It’s only on Facebook, but I feel close to them. I have history with them, and they are all women so my husband shouldn’t feel left out, just a circle of friends who live twelve hundred miles away. I have always felt close to Nicole, but she deserves her own post, so maybe I’ll do that tomorrow or Monday.

Those words mean well, but, to me, right now, and my ex sister-in-law turned good friend, I don’t think they even touch us. I can’t even imagine the loss she is feeling right now. Her beautiful, wonderful, sweetheart of a daughter was killed by a drunk driver last night. The horrible accident could have been prevented by a phone call to a taxi company, a caring friend who might have taken the driver’s keys, an Uber app, a Lyft app, or even a sleep before he went behind the wheel. Such a loss of life. So close to home, I just can’t stop thinking about her. I loved my niece dearly, I wanted to see her provide a great life for her daughter. I had it rough being a single mom too and I always tried to be encouraging to her in whatever way I could. I remember sending her and her daughter a box of arts and crafts stuff that I didn’t need anymore, just so they could spend some quality time together, without having to go to the store or look up things to do. I hope they got to share that time together. I want to take the hurt away from my good friend Vicki, I want to make things better for her daughter Tianna, but I’m afraid there is nothing I can do. Except pray for them to be touched by Nicole’s life. I feel the extreme loss and sadness for them. It hurts, but doesn’t even compare to what they are feeling right now. Hold on tight. Our days are numbered. Love now, love hard. Make time count. Use the good china on a Monday night hot dog dinner. Use the silver. Make tents and forts on the living room floor, (I imagine Nicole doing this with Tianna, she was a fun girl!) She always called me her crazy Aunt Joyce, I hope she had time to be crazy with Tianna. I love you Nicole and the world is a darker place because you aren’t in it anymore.

If you feel prompted and wish to make a donation to help Vickie pay for her final resting place, please contribute, even if it’s a small donation, every little bit helps. Click on the link. Thank you, and hold your loved ones more.

I am hoping this link works… I can’t get the link to go live, copy and paste might be needed…

https://www.gofundme.com/ykr5p-devastating-death-of-young-mother

Do you deal with stubborness on a daily basis? Do you know someone who is just SO stubborn? Eek! It drives me crazy! I am stubborn and I am sure I must drive someone crazy, because I deal with it daily. Maybe that is why I can spot it from a mile away.

Some of my students are stubborn. They just won’t do what I ask of them. I wonder why? Do they just don’t want to copy their homework? How can I convince them that they NEED to copy it? How can I convince my daughter that she SHOULD spend time with me? How do I get my wonderful husband to close what he opens? Maybe it’s just my curse, my burden, maybe because I am stubborn! I can’t think of a certain instance where I can compare myself to these situations, funny, huh? I bet my husband is thinking right now as he reads this… WHAT? I can think of a million things! She leaves her shoes all over! I just don’t want to pick up my shoes, I like them there in front of my chair, that’s where I’ll find them tomorrow for work!

There must be an answer and that is what I find myself doing tonight, looking for an answer to the question, how do I get my students motivated to do the right thing without me telling them over and over again. I find myself searching the web for cool, interesting, engaging STEM activities that I know they will want to do! But, I stop in my tracks, what if it doesn’t excite them like it excites me? That’s a chance I will just have to take. Maybe my excitement will be contagious, one of my favorite principals I’ve ever had, always used to tell me that I was contagious, my laughter, my smile, my motivation. I took it as a compliment, sounds like it was right? I am going to turn my irritating stubborness into a motivational inspirational drive to convince those scholars tomorrow that being stubborn is a good thing because it gets those things done! At least I am aware of stubborness, I can either fight it or let it be and use it to my advantage… I gotta go pick up my shoes.

I always thought that was dumb, “a good tired,” until I became a teacher. I don’t want to sit here and complain because I did just have an entire summer off, but it’s hard to get back into the swing of things! Alarm set for 5:30 am (still not enough time to check Facebook), traffic, just the stress of driving in before I’m considered late is hard! I only work 15 miles away from my school but it takes a good hour (there’s that word “good” again) to drive there! That’s crazy time! That’s 4 minutes for one mile! At least I don’t live in LA right? I listen to music, drink coffee, and eat my breakfast snack to pass the time, and hope that I get there in time.

Today is an emotional day for me. It was my birthday and the anniversary of my dad’s death, five years ago. If you know me and/or read my post entitled “Oil and Water Really Don’t Mix” you know of my relationship with my dad. He loved me, but didn’t know how to show me, and I really didn’t hold it against him, I still loved him, he still taught me well. But it was tough. My birthday present to him every year was leaving his home in North Carolina, what he wished for. And, in the end, he ended up leaving us on my birthday. Ironic. So, which leaves me in a predicament. Do I celebrate my birthday? Do I remain solemn all day to remember my Dad? I don’t know what to feel. I’m just tired, a good tired! Today was also the first day of school with the kids!

First days… what can I say? I have the same group of kids I had last year, no, I don’t have to teach them again, I just brought them through second grade, now we will go through third grade together, it’s called “looping” in the education world. It was really like we never left each other. Same kids doing the same things they did last year. A positive thought is that I was right on top of it. I just hope they still love reading! Again, I am a good tired. I did a lot today, felt a lot, thought a lot, walked a lot, drove a lot. It is a good tired, I guess. I guess a bad tired would be still tired but didn’t do anything all day! At least my life was full today. I thank everyone that took the time out of their busy day to wish me a happy birthday, I really do appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you for a good tired. May tomorrow bring us all another good tired.

Today I was reminded of long ago, when my teaching career had just started. We have quite a bit of new teachers at our school, and they are young! As they are bright eyed and bushy tailed, the thing I adore most is how they don’t stress over anything. They are just casual, it’ll get done. They don’t let deadlines effect them for some reason, maybe they have it already done, with all that energy, I bet they have! Not like this “seasoned” teacher as I am often called.

I know the new teachers don’t like to be called “cute” but they are! I can’t help it! Not that they have cute little lunch boxes or anything, just little details like their screen saver to their computers showing our school mascot and the school logo. I am still trying to get those official lesson plans in the google drive! They are off installing new software and wondering when we get teacher’s manuals. As with experience comes wisdom. Of course, I already have copies made to start my children off on something the minute they enter the room, while I work out the new attendance system on the laptop. Not that it is busy work, and I do have some new, exciting activities for them, they just have to have practice in putting it down on paper, in word form. I can’t wait until Tuesday when they try to Save Fred!

I remember twenty years ago when I was all fresh. Back then, we didn’t even have a curriculum printed! Just a long list of concepts and skills our set of children were to know and master by June. I remember tracing, cutting, laminating (in which I still adore!) double checking I had everything I needed for the next day. I hand made folder activities, worksheets, writing paper, everything I had planned on paper. I had so much energy! I’d be up well past midnight until it finally dawned on me I should be going to bed. Maybe that’s why I suffer from insomnia!

The new teachers actually give me a quick charge. Maybe it’s the thought of when my energy level was through the roof. I want to wish all my teacher friends a wonderful year, even though I will miss some of them desperately, Jen!!!!! As I miss many other friends I still keep in touch with at my old school. Have a great year, and hopefully I can master some of that new found energy for this “seasoned” teacher.

Well, it’s that time again. The beginning of a new school year. We’ve had all summer long to sleep late, stay up late, shop, read, clean, travel. We got to use the bathroom whenever we wanted, go exercise whenever, take walks, bike rides, visit with family, friends, discover new people, places and things. No time restraints, no schedules, (except for all the doctor appointments we fit in…) nothing to tie us down, just fun, relax, and do whatever, whenever. Sounds great doesn’t it???? I think that is the best part of summer. Even though we still might run into stressful situations, I think I can just handle them better because I was relaxed when it happened? Maybe?

Tomorrow starts a new year. The kids won’t be in until next week, but we are mandated to report tomorrow, 8:00 am! Jeez! Too early! Can’t we start at 10 ish? If it wasn’t for traffic and making my lunch, picking out the day’s outfit, wash, laundry I wouldn’t mind so much. Tonight is Sunday night and I just heard on the radio that “Sunday Blues” is a real thing! Us teachers knew that! Turns out other people get it too, it’s not just for teachers! From one extreme to the other. Total relaxation to extreme “To Do” lists. I would bet money on that list happening real quick tomorrow, probably by 8:10.

I want to wish all the incredibly talented teachers I know, a good year. I really do know some of the best teachers in the country. I know they will do great and hoping they’ll have the best class ever! Just remember to have fun with those babies and show them how to relax too! When things get to stressed and complicated, think of summer, it may just help a ton! Have a great year everyone!

 

Life is just a series of events and how you handle them. I encountered a big disappointment today, but what can I do? I had plans to get something accomplished but because of certain circumstances, nothing could get done. Oh well! Guess I’ll get to go in my pool, do some schoolwork, make copies. If I was to fret about it, I would just be wasting my own time. It’s hard when you feel the feeling, but through constant practice, I am hoping it comes easier.

It’s hard to compare your quality of life to someone else’s. If and when disappointments occur, your quality of life could improve because your feeling and attitude improves, or you could just dwell on it and let it ruin the rest of your day. Nope! Not here! I am going to forget about it and move on. I choose too. That is my story and I’m sticking to it!

Tonight I get mommy/daughter time! I’m so excited, even though it may be a sad reason, I am going to enjoy my time with my mom and daughter while we go to visit my dad’s grave (today would have been his 78th birthday and he passed five years ago). If you read my blog titled “Oil and Water Don’t Mix” you’ll understand more how this day means to me. I am actually continuing our tradition of not being with him on his birthday, but… guess what? I’ve been thinking about him all day, so he IS with me on his birthday! Happy Birthday Dad, I love you.

Summer is coming to an end for us teachers. Time to start thinking of the new year and new students yet to come adorn our rooms ready to start anew, I hope! I am always hopeful of the new babies that come to me and I always wonder if I will handle the challenging ones well enough. I pray for a good year, every year, every August, September, June, October. But, guess what? I am having the same babies I had last year! It is kind of exciting actually! I get to see them a year older, smarter, cuter, and a tad bit more mature than they were last year. Last year, they were second graders, this year they will be big third graders! I can’t wait to see how much they have progressed over the summer. More milestones to see!

I hope I taught them well last year. I guess I will determine that this year, soon. I am “looping” with the same children I had last year, and it is a good thing, I am really looking forward to it. I just hope I gave them a good base to start with, for this year, a testing year. So much pressure! We will learn together how to deal with stress, how to be independent in our learning, and how to make ourselves better than before! I really do love my kids and I am glad I get to spend another year with them. I hope this looping thing works, I’ve already got a head start on what they need, and want, so I am thinking we are going to love being together again! A family reunion!

I love summer and the rest I get to experience. But, I do love the excitement of teaching, learning and the hustle and bustle of everyday living. Thank you summer of 2017, I had a great time but I may just be ready for my family reunion! Have a great school year everyone!

Don’t underestimate the value of things or people in your life, give them your attention, appreciate them.  Don’t take things for granted, be blessed and know it.

So many cliché’s come to mind. “You don’t miss it until it’s gone,” “Don’t take it for granted.” After a wonderful weekend in New York City I came home to a ninety degree house, broken air conditioner. Yes, it was late Sunday afternoon so of course no one is coming to help me out, except my neighbor who is a retired HVAC guy. Even though he got it running, he doesn’t have a supply of parts, so still looked like we had to rough it. So now, we are resting in the heat waiting until the sun goes down to cool down a bit. And it only took this inconvenience to remind me that I can go night swimming in our pool! What a delight! It got to the point where the water was warmer than the air and I got quite chilled! Imagine that! With a broken AC unit!

I remember when I was a single mom living in Philadelphia. No one to help me out at all, except my parents in a nearby suburb thirty minutes from our row home. Our electricity was cut off late one Friday afternoon. I don’t know why I didn’t pay the bill, I can’t seem to remember why I didn’t! Yes, I was short on money, but I could have scrapped together enough for PECO to leave it on. My parents would have helped me out, I just didn’t ask. Me and Ashley just had to rough it. I remember both of us sleeping directly under my bedroom window, catching the inch of the breeze coming through. No electricity, not just no AC, no fan, no nothing. I don’t remember what we did the rest of the weekend, just that night, apologizing to my daughter who didn’t understand over and over again, and her saying “it’s ok mommy, we’ll be okay, it’s fun! like a sleepover!” She didn’t even notice the heat. Another delight.

Sometimes it is good to “rough it,” makes us appreciate things more, I think. Remember back when you had nothing, and now you have everything. I remember dreaming of having my own pool and now I do! What’s that saying, “If you don’t have to work hard for it, it’s not worth it” and “If it’s too easy, it won’t be worth it” or something, I don’t know, I just know I work hard to have AC and I’m glad it’s available to us. So, tonight, my husband and I will “rough it” after an amazing mini vacation in the city that never sleeps!