Author: joysha2@aol.com

Summer is coming to an end for us teachers. Time to start thinking of the new year and new students yet to come adorn our rooms ready to start anew, I hope! I am always hopeful of the new babies that come to me and I always wonder if I will handle the challenging ones well enough. I pray for a good year, every year, every August, September, June, October. But, guess what? I am having the same babies I had last year! It is kind of exciting actually! I get to see them a year older, smarter, cuter, and a tad bit more mature than they were last year. Last year, they were second graders, this year they will be big third graders! I can’t wait to see how much they have progressed over the summer. More milestones to see!

I hope I taught them well last year. I guess I will determine that this year, soon. I am “looping” with the same children I had last year, and it is a good thing, I am really looking forward to it. I just hope I gave them a good base to start with, for this year, a testing year. So much pressure! We will learn together how to deal with stress, how to be independent in our learning, and how to make ourselves better than before! I really do love my kids and I am glad I get to spend another year with them. I hope this looping thing works, I’ve already got a head start on what they need, and want, so I am thinking we are going to love being together again! A family reunion!

I love summer and the rest I get to experience. But, I do love the excitement of teaching, learning and the hustle and bustle of everyday living. Thank you summer of 2017, I had a great time but I may just be ready for my family reunion! Have a great school year everyone!

Don’t underestimate the value of things or people in your life, give them your attention, appreciate them.  Don’t take things for granted, be blessed and know it.

So many cliché’s come to mind. “You don’t miss it until it’s gone,” “Don’t take it for granted.” After a wonderful weekend in New York City I came home to a ninety degree house, broken air conditioner. Yes, it was late Sunday afternoon so of course no one is coming to help me out, except my neighbor who is a retired HVAC guy. Even though he got it running, he doesn’t have a supply of parts, so still looked like we had to rough it. So now, we are resting in the heat waiting until the sun goes down to cool down a bit. And it only took this inconvenience to remind me that I can go night swimming in our pool! What a delight! It got to the point where the water was warmer than the air and I got quite chilled! Imagine that! With a broken AC unit!

I remember when I was a single mom living in Philadelphia. No one to help me out at all, except my parents in a nearby suburb thirty minutes from our row home. Our electricity was cut off late one Friday afternoon. I don’t know why I didn’t pay the bill, I can’t seem to remember why I didn’t! Yes, I was short on money, but I could have scrapped together enough for PECO to leave it on. My parents would have helped me out, I just didn’t ask. Me and Ashley just had to rough it. I remember both of us sleeping directly under my bedroom window, catching the inch of the breeze coming through. No electricity, not just no AC, no fan, no nothing. I don’t remember what we did the rest of the weekend, just that night, apologizing to my daughter who didn’t understand over and over again, and her saying “it’s ok mommy, we’ll be okay, it’s fun! like a sleepover!” She didn’t even notice the heat. Another delight.

Sometimes it is good to “rough it,” makes us appreciate things more, I think. Remember back when you had nothing, and now you have everything. I remember dreaming of having my own pool and now I do! What’s that saying, “If you don’t have to work hard for it, it’s not worth it” and “If it’s too easy, it won’t be worth it” or something, I don’t know, I just know I work hard to have AC and I’m glad it’s available to us. So, tonight, my husband and I will “rough it” after an amazing mini vacation in the city that never sleeps!

 

Okay, I kinda stole this title from my friend. She told me that was her reason for attending the Women’s March. Sometimes we just want to watch and see what’s happening. We do know what it’s all about, but we might want to see what is happening up front. Sort of feel the crowd, or maybe we believe in what’s happening and want to be a part of it, just don’t want to lead the masses. So, we observe and absorb.

This weekend, I am in New York City attending the Writer’s Digest Conference for the first time and why am I here? I don’t have a novel yet, or an action thriller or crime story, mystery or romantic novel to offer. I am here to observe and absorb. I have always classified myself as a teacher, but seriously, I am a learner. I love my kids everyday and I guide them to learn certain stuff but in fact, they teach me! I observe  them constantly to figure out what they need and how I can supply it to them. I absorb their feelings and try to convince them it is fun to learn something for themselves. It helps me understand them and in turn, they understand me better too! I am constantly learning through observation and absorption. I did attend a class today and attended the opening keynote speaker who was very inspiring to me. She told her audience to write what you know and be true to yourself and your writing. I’m glad she told us that, because that is what I am best at doing, being myself.

Do you observe and absorb? Follow others around you, watch them, see what they need or want. Be aware. Help them be the best they can be, it will make you better and the whole world will be much better for it. Go forth, observe and absorb.

I have the pleasure of knowing some of the best people on God’s green earth. It is pure joy when I talk with some people I know. How did my friend who I’ve known all my life know I was feeling down? How did she know to call me at that exact moment when my daughter walked on without me because my feet hurt? How did my workout buddy know the exact words to say to make me feel better when I was feeling totally beat down? Maybe, because they know me. It is pure joy knowing them and knowing they know me. I don’t know how else to say it.

I am so grateful to have these friends in my life. I am lucky, blessed, and beyond thankful for them. I hope I am there for them. I have to make sure I am, I am going to try to be so much more aware of them and issues that may be going on with them and take the time to let them know I care. I want them to feel what I am feeling right now.

I’m feeling mushy I guess. I am reliving the beach, boardwalk and memories with my beautiful daughter whom I love to the beach, moon, or wherever, and back. There are no words that can even come close to the love I feel for her. We are spending an overnight trip at the beach together. I don’t get enough time with her anymore. As a single mom, she was my world for over ten years and it is incredibly hard letting her grow on her own as an adult woman.

I thank my daughter, my childhood, lifetime friend Deirdre and my workout buddy Kathy. I love you all from the bottom of my heart, or wherever I can compare to let you know how much I appreciate you. Thank you for your time, thoughts and encouraging words, exactly when I need them. I love you all!

Do you have people like this in your life? I sure hope you do, if not, try to make friends more. The feeling inside is absolutely incredible. Spread the joy wherever you go, even if you don’t feel like it, it will be good for your soul, or someone else’s! Spread the joy people! Pure joy!

We’re going to Disney! Well, we really aren’t but what excitement creeps into me at the thought of it. So many short trips I have booked into the last few weeks of my summer. I usually like to book them early and have August to relax and mentally prepare for the start of school, but just didn’t happen that way this year. So now, my reserved short trip excitement is building and may just be overflowing into the start of school!

Excitement to me is the building of happiness for things yet to come. I usually try not to get excited because if for some unforeseen reason, my plans fall through, I will get sad. And I don’t like sadness. Sometimes I will get stuck in “what we could have done” and I don’t like to live in the “what if”. When this happens, I try to redirect myself into another thought or purpose for the time.

Excitement for me right now is building for a trip to the beach with my now grown daughter, Ashley. We hardly have any time together anymore. I hope we have fun while we are there next week. I am actually excited just for the time we will get to spend alone, and do the things we used to do together. I hope she has a good time with her mommy.

Excitement is also building for the Writer’s Digest Conference in NYC. My husband, Bill gets to come with me. Although I will be in classes most of the time, I am imagining some sightseeing things we may get to do. Just being out-of-town, in an exciting city, and time alone with my husband is enough to excite me! I hope everything goes well there too.

Well, off to pack and plan our excitement! I like being excited, do you? What excites you and why? Do you try to plan a little excitement for those you love? Here’s off to an exciting day! Plan and live some wonderful memories!

Some careers take the skill of listening. I hate to admit it, but I know I sometimes babble on, once I realize it, I try to stop immediately and get to the point if I haven’t already. Everyone’s time is precious these days. Time has always been precious, I think we are all just making that realization more and more, especially now as I/we get older. A bartender might have to listen a lot longer than a healer, therapist, or hair dresser. As soon as Val is done doing my hair, I leave, so her time listening to me ends quite well. She knows I’m not coming back for another 3 months! Of course, my masseuse/healer, Heather is a great listener! She wants to hear what’s going on so she can help me overcome it easier. Same with a therapist, that 50 minute timer goes off and poof! You’re done. Not only do we stop talking, they get to stop listening! But, they move on to the next talker!

I feel good inside when I know someone is listening. They ask questions, provide eye contact, and acknowledge you when you are speaking. They are genuinely interested in what you have to say, you can tell by their actions, body language. It feels bad when someone snaps back, “Yes! I heard you!” I have a hard time listening sometimes. I am not trying to be disrespectful, I just have a brain that doesn’t stop thinking. Something is always popping into my head thinking, I gotta do that, I must remember to send out the payment, go on Amazon and buy the solar eclipse glasses, and so on. I don’t mean to interrupt people but sometimes my thoughts overtake me completely. I really need to learn to listen more, and better, especially to my family and in my classroom. Thank God I don’t work in customer service I don’t know how long I would last!

Are you an active listener? or pretty much passive? I love to hear people’s stories, predicaments, and general goings on… Let’s all try to be more actively engaged in listening, it will spread good news and positive feelings!

Have a great day listening!

Today was a perfect day, and it’s not even over yet. The sun was shining, just a little warm, when I was up and moving around, with the occasional gentle breeze just when I needed it.

No list of things to do, even though I have a constant one in my head, but nothing pressing me that HAD to get done. I woke up early on a summer day, even so early, my husband and mom both remarked, “Why are you up so early?” Like it was so uncharacteristic of me! I don’t normally sleep late like I used to, and now 9:00 is late, so it really depends on your scale of “normal.” Two cups of coffee and it was time to get started, on what, I didn’t know yet. I showered and ate a low carb breakfast of bacon and eggs. (Low carb diets are so easy until the sun goes down…). I decided I would clean house, and that’s just what I did.

Polished the furniture, windexed (I bet you didn’t know that was a verb did ya?) all the glass, vacuumed and went a step further and shampooed the carpets! Golly! It was hard work! I didn’t realize how much exercise I was getting until 2:00 when the thought occurred to me that it may just be a good time for a nap! So, that I did. Nap. Until it was time to wake, or the time my neighbor decided to mow his lawn. But it was okay, I had already gotten in a few snoozes.

Now, the house looks great, I am well rested and ready to tackle the second half of the day, evening and nighttime. With that comes kitchen chores, schoolwork and deciding what to watch on TV for my background noise. It was a perfect day!

I hope you have a perfect day! And many more after that one, I really do. The world is a much better place when we all have perfect days. Whatever you consider to be perfect, I hope it happens for you.

Guilt, it’s not a good thing. It’s a bad feeling that you’ve done something wrong. Sometimes it causes us remorse and a desire to fix it, which is good, but how about the times when you feel guilty but really didn’t do anything wrong? I don’t get it, where did I learn that from?

Take for example, my day today. I have hurt my foot, I really don’t know exactly what happened but I can barely walk on it. I have pinpointed the pain to my Achilles tendon. I am thinking I just strained it somehow, maybe with the million miles I walked at the beach this past week. And, instead of stopping and taking it easy, I kept going. Kept exercising, kept walking, just wouldn’t stop. Now I’m in trouble, I can’t move. I’m stuck. Thankful for my husband who is taking excellent care of me, wrapping it in a cold compress, ordering me to elevate, and just generally doing more than his share to help me.

This morning when I slept in late, my foot feeling better from all the attention it had last night, it was cloudy and even drizzling outside. I thought, great! Inside day! But now that the sun is shining, I feel guilty for not going outside! Why? I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m forcing myself to get over it while fighting the paper war in my office.

Guilt is like regret in the present. When I feel guilty for a long period of time (usually for not doing enough chores!) I sometimes get depressed. I don’t like depression. It’s mean. Makes me think I am not needed, nothing I do is right, and it’s hard to lift yourself out of it, but that is the only cure. No one can tell you to “snap out of it!” You just have to lift up and out. My cure for these moods is to do something. Even with my foot bothering me I planted myself in my office to clean up, shred papers, well, you know the drill. Three bags of trash so far and yes, I am feeling better already! What makes you get out of a slump?

Summer is almost ending for me so school will be the official end of my slump, I won’t have any time to feel guilt, depression or a slump. Hope my foot feels better soon because I have a lot of work to do yet!

Shout out to my husband for taking such good care of my foot, I love you babe.

I don’t know about people who didn’t grow up without the East Coast, or any coast but my childhood included the beach, the boardwalk, and memories. I don’t remember any specific memories, I just remember having fun, being happy and spending time with my family, and the other neighbor family that we spent a lot of time with.
My mom told me I hated the sand on the beach. I wouldn’t move off the blanket and I wouldn’t touch the sand. When I did, I would scrunch up my face like a baby that just tasted a lemon. I did the same thing with soft grass at home! I love the sand now, I love what it does to my feet. I love how it seems to erase the icky feeling and makes me feel free, maybe that’s because I am barefoot, but the sand is a free pedicure. As long as the hotel doesn’t mind me bringing it in, neither do I.
I remember all the games, lights, sounds, prizes, food and best of all the rides, of the boardwalk! I don’t remember all the walking! Maybe I was in a stroller? Or on my dad’s shoulders? I remember pizza, ice cream, cotton candy, popcorn… I remember when my older brother begged my parents to go on the salt and pepper shakers (a ride that is extremely high, you get strapped in and get shaken up and down, hence, salt and pepper shakers) and promised he wouldn’t throw up, yup, he did. They were crazy! How could you not? I mean, eat all that good food, get thrown and tossed in the air, get shaken up and down repeatedly and NOT throw up? It was a recipe for disaster.
Right now I am sitting in a darkened hotel room with my wonderful husband sleeping away from today’s beach walk (easily 10K steps), boardwalk food and general beach day, typing away on my laptop wondering why and what makes me love this place so much when my knees are aching, my tummy is full and I can’t sleep. Oh, and my back hurts because I miss my mattress at home with only one pillow here and a rolled up beach towel pretending to be a pillow. It can’t be the long walk to the water, the boardwalk walk with the crowd of people, and the constant worry of if my car is ok across the street. It’s looking at the bright colors of the neon lit ferris wheel circling around and around, the late night music coming from the bar downstairs, the smells of fresh fudge, and the promise of the swim in the ocean tomorrow, oh, and the free pedicure. I wish my mom would come and remember with me more, maybe it would remind her of happier times too.
I am very grateful my parents felt the need to pack us all up, pile us all into the station wagon, save up money, drive down here, and let us experience the times of our lives, to be remembered always. Thanks mom and dad! Thank you for creating these memories for me, I appreciate it always and will never forget. If you can, try and create memories for someone else, they will thank you for it!

Oil and water really don’t mix. You can put them in the same container and shake them together for a nice salad dressing but they will never be the same scientific mixture. My dad was oil, I was the water. My dad was thick, older, set in his ways, hard to budge. I was younger, still learning to let things roll off me, (thanks Mindy, still remember that metaphor), learning to let go and let him be. We always butted heads. I said black, he said white. I said stop, he said go. We were exactly the same, I think that is why we found it hard to get along. I am not a victim, or helpless, and I am not asking for your compassion, but I had a very hard time growing up trying to please him. I was never “daddy’s little girl,” NEVER.  I always had to learn the hard way, I actually see it as a blessing, taught me to fight for the things I want.

My dad was a social butterfly, always had a joke for everyone, always lit up a room at a party, always had everyone laughing, even me sometimes. But behind the scenes, when no one was around, he was an angry, grouchy, grizzly. I did learn from him though, I try to deliver the same light-hearted attitude to people I meet. He seemed to always find something wrong with me, why wasn’t I doing this right or that yet? I know he loved me, he just didn’t know how to tell me, or show me. He grew up with a rough and tough father who yelled and screamed everyday at him all the time, at least that’s what I’ve been told. He was a different person when no one was watching. It was always a bet to see how long it would be before he would show his true colors to the new spouse in our family. Even my stepdaughter was so surprised the first time she heard him get upset! I know he loved me though. I told him all the time I loved him, I wanted him to hear it, even when he didn’t return the sentiment. I remember the one time he said he was proud of me. When I received my master’s degree. I still get a tear in my eye thinking about it.

We always used to tease each other. His birthday was August 26th, mine is September 5th, very close to each other. I am a teacher, I used to spend a lot of time at their house in North Carolina because I was off! My tease to him was always leaving on his birthday to come back home to PA, that was his birthday present, that I was leaving. He would say its the best present I could give him. It sounds super sad, but we did love each other. He was proud of me. I know he was. He told me. He got the last laugh. He died on my birthday in 2012. I don’t think he meant to die on that day but isn’t it ironic? I love you dad, even though you didn’t know how to show me, I know you did.

We are all blessed with people we miss desperately. Let’s be thankful for the time we got to spend with them.