Author: joysha2@aol.com

I’ve recently run into a bully. On Facebook. Not a friend, just a bully on a public forum. She was a fellow teacher. She was blaming teachers who teach and saying it was my fault I was part of the problem today because she was told to improve her teaching, she didn’t, and now she’s being let go.

Get over it lady. I’ve been teaching for 35 years now, 20 of those years in the inner city, poverty stricken neighborhoods of Philadelphia. I’ve been told millions of times how to make my teaching better. And I did. I did what they told me, again and again. How does that hurt? Trying to take constructive criticism hurts but it helps make you better. Try it, you might like it. I think I am a good teacher, but not because of all the thousands of hours of Professional Development and classes, and lectures, and blah, blah, blah. (Even though it does help, sometimes… my bosses may be reading this! HAHA!) I think I am a good teacher because I love my kids. I want to see them succeed and I want to teach them that they can make IT happen. IT, whatever IT is. I don’t care where they come from, what has happened, what color they are, who their brother is, who they pray to, I LOVE THEM. You have no idea (or maybe you do!) how it feels for a little one to run up to you and share something exciting to you. The best part is when you were involved, typically the day before.

Don’t get me wrong, teaching is hard. Not only are 100 tennis balls being thrown at you at once, you are still tending to the needs of 25 little hearts. Oh, and administration, telling you you aren’t doing enough, you need to do more. And I do, I do the more, just to get it done, to spend another day with that little girl or little boy that will run to me tomorrow morning and tell me about the dream she had when she was reading, her book started tickling her… (when she reads to me, I tickle her), LOVE.

Lady, get over it. Either try something new to get better or get out. You are wasting our precious time in this dying breed of teachers who LOVE.

I’ve always had this bit of a fear to be proud. I’ve always thought that if you were too proud, you would get knocked back down to humble real quick, and if you’re anything like me, those humbling moments hurt. But, the key word in that previous sentence is “too” as in too proud. I have to take a moment to tell you how proud I am of my daughter Ashley.

She grew up without a dad. Her dad put himself into a situation where she had to grow up without him. All his choices, not her fault at all. I always wished she had a daddy, but she did for only for the first 2.5 years of her life. My dad was around her a lot, and he treated her like a daddy’s girl, but it wasn’t everyday, all day. I was a single mom to her for about 12 years, then she got a loving stepfather, my husband, Bill. It was a bit too late for her though, she had already built up that wall. Bill and her do get along now and she does have him as a father now, and they hug now too! (It was always a struggle to get her to hug him).

Anyhow, I have just returned from North Carolina. It was half business, half relax. I had to go to get tenants removed from my parents house, court, and tons of things to do to get it listed for sale. We were victorious in our court case but I had felt like a failure because I allowed the defendant to lie, lie, lie. I have a problem keeping my mouth shut, but in court I didn’t. My mouth was sealed shut.

I wanted to be respectful since I did everything legally and didn’t want to waste my mom’s money. It hurt. He lied, thank God my attorney objected and the judge ignored his lies. He still got out of the house, I still have to deal with him a bit longer but the end is in sight!

After court that day, I was in a terrible slump. Yes, at the beach, on vacation, nothing I could do to pick myself up. Until Ashley. She convinced me to take a short ferry ride to Bald Head Island, off the coast of North Carolina. She pulled me up, convinced me to move on. Her attitude cheered me on, convinced me the end was near (of the tenant) and had encouraged me there was more for us to do. I am so proud of her. Somehow I think I raised her to be that way, and I am glad I did. I am so grateful it all stuck and she practices it. Not to mention, she helped me pack, load, unload, wash, clean, carry, drive, clean up, cook, helped me with techie stuff… the list goes on. I am so incredibly thankful for her help. The minute I dropped her off after our trip, I missed her. I love her so much. I am so thankful for my mini me, that was me, just many years ago. I hope I am that much help to my mom. I love her beyond belief and I thank God for her everyday. Thank you Ashley, there are no words to describe how much love I have for you.

If you are anything like me, we just need to git ‘er done! So many things have to be done all the time! I thought I had a relaxing summer to look forward too but in all reality, summer break just gives me more time to get things done!

I thought (I don’t know why I thought this but…) when you get older, things calm down, you begin to rest easy and get some relaxation in! Boy was I wrong! One of my close church friends replied to me after saying this, “Why in the world would you think that?” Now I have to rethink everything!

I thought that since I had everything established, everything could run itself. Ha ha… I am still helping to take care of mom, thank you to my sister who is nearby, so she helps. And not to leave out my older brother, Ken, who lives in Missouri, so he is quite a bit out of the way, but when he is around, he helps too. Still battling with those tenants down south! I have filed eviction papers (GET OUT!), summary of ejection papers (NO, REALLY! GET OUT NOW!), we have a court date, on the previous date of when the lease was to end anyway, but now I have to file a “Writ of Possession” of my own parent’s house! Ridiculous. All this could have been avoided if he had just paid his rent like the rest of us mere mortals! All I can say is, “It will all be over soon… thank you God!” Hopefully, this will almost be over for good. It’s hard not to blame the ex realtor who talked my mom into renting in the first place, when he knew she didn’t want to rent.

At least I get a trip down south out of the deal. I have gotten into hypnosis lately and I plan on sitting on the beach NOT worrying about all this and not in the living room. Maybe the change of scenery will do me good. I am packing my hypnosis tapes and special glasses to enhance the process.

I am so sorry for complaining but believe it or not, I feel better when I get it all out. My mom is moving back in, we redesigned the downstairs and it looks awesome! I will have her closer and maybe she won’t be so lonely. And I want to give a shout out to my daughter Ashley, ten more days! And my husband for still sticking by my side through all of this mess. And my new grandson is the cutest little baby ever! Thanks Shayna for the visit last week with the kids, it helped me to forget for awhile. 🙂

Remember those old commercials that showed a hot frying pan on the stove, “This is your brain,” cracks an egg on it, “This is your brain on drugs?” Yeah, me too. I remember.

I’ve always been fascinated by the brain. When getting my master’s degree, I had to take a class on the brain. I thought it was so interesting! I loved hearing about how it worked, and why, how to make yourself remember things and why certain tricks worked. My dad had joked with me, “If you like it so much why don’t you become a brain surgeon?” he’d ask. I think he just wanted a daughter as a brain surgeon.

Lately, I have been diving into something involving the brain and it’s power. I don’t want to reveal my secret yet, but I will. It really is an awesome organ if you think about it. It really tells our whole body what to do and how to do it, and when! It has all this power, all we have to do is control it and do our will. Whether we choose for evil, or for good. Ha! I am just reprogramming mine to do what I want, too bad I waited so long… but just like a bad habit takes awhile to train, so does a good habit. So, wish me luck, even though I have already decided. I know some of you detectives out there already know what I’m talking about but you’ll just have to wait until I’m ready.

Your brain makes all your decisions for you. When to get up, what to cook for dinner, how to drive to work or school. We can either make good decisions, or not so good ones. Every decision has a consequence, so let’s try to keep the good ones!

Have a great day everyone!

Don’t hate me, but I love Mondays. The only hard thing is getting up in the morning, and once I am past that, I love how it’s a clean new slate to begin my week. Hopefully, I won’t get a flat tire, be late for school, or lose my patience quickly. Typically, those are the reasons that come to mind about bad Mondays.

I like how I can start the week with a new found energy that I didn’t have yesterday. Now, my thinking may be a bit off kilter because it is summer time, and I can’t be late for school, until September that is. I do have a long “To Do” list to accomplish today, but mostly it’s just phone calls that I have to make. An online sale to complete, and my bible study tonight, but those are all easy things to do right?

Here’s to your Monday! I am wishing you a great new week to accomplish things on your “To Do” list, I hope your day goes well, and I hope you have a great week! Enjoy!

Joyce

Are you responsible? Do you take care of your children? Your house? Your car? Can people depend on you at your job to “get it done?” I am responsible, in fact, sometimes too much. I try to help others with their responsibilities, but in fact, I shouldn’t do that. I am taking away a lesson for them.

Recently, I have a nightmarish tenant renting my mom’s house in North Carolina. Let me rephrase that, “this tenant is an absolute nightmare.” One of my favorite church friends said that word to me and it rang a bell in my head, yup! nightmare! That’s what this is! He seems to think it’s ok to pay his rent 27 days late, EVERY month. I know it’s my fault for letting him get away with his RESPONSIBILITY for 11 months but I didn’t want to get confrontational, what a joke! ME? I have my father’s blood running through me and HE knew how to take care of business. I think I was just waiting until summer time to take care of it correctly, legally, purposefully, with an end. After all, it is your responsibility to pay your rent isn’t it? Makes me angry that he is consistently trying to rip my 80 year old mother off. He tells my realtor “she is evicting us!” Like, jeez, she is so mean! My view is “yes, she is! That’s what happens when you don’t pay your rent…duh.” He lies to my attorney and says Mays rent is really Junes, when he himself wrote on the money order “Mays Rent.” What a jerk.

I apologize for venting, please say a prayer this all ends soon as it causes undue stress on my mom and me, :(.

Please take care of your responsibilities and don’t take over anyone else’s. This world would really be a better place if everyone just took care of their own responsibilities. Mothers and Fathers, please teach your children to take care of their own responsibilities, should be one of the most important parts of an education there is in this world.

Have a great day!

Back to the first day of summer vacation! I am excited to relax and get things done but I find myself doing the exact same thing as I have for the past 19 years! Always fighting the paper war. I have let my home office get out of hand. As school was moving along, counting down to the last days, I would drop everything in here and think, “next week I’ll do it…” well, it is now “next week!”

If you are anything like me, I have a million little things to do. File this bill, call these people, put that away, mail that, file those papers, clean that sink, it’s just a ton of tiny things to do. Nothing major, except for waiting for the tile guys and the contractor to come and finish the downstairs for my mom. We are upgrading the entire downstairs to make it suitable for her own apartment living. We are moving her in again, which always reminds me of my brother, he was always the mover for everyone. She did live with us for a year, but a few issues caused her to move to her own space. It took a bit getting used too for both of us, yet gave us the insight to make it better. We all sat down and discussed what drove us both crazy and fixed it for this time, wish us luck!

Just like the end of chapters in our lives, new beginnings come along. End of 2018 school year, beginning all things new! I just pray for the motivation, inspiration, and perseverance to get everything done in time to relax for a while! Happy Summer everyone!!!! I wish you a joyful, relaxing, wonderful season!

I don’t want to push what I believe to be MY Higher Power on you, because I believe you have the right to choose, but I hope you do have one. It is so freeing!

I am a control freak! But, slowly but surely I am beginning to let go. It is truly up lifting. I hadn’t realized how control pulls me down. I am finally starting to realize I can’t control ANYTHING! Except my reaction to things that happen to me, or around me. Learning about myself and how I react. I am stressed because I let it get to me but the truth is I can’t stop or change what other people do, or what happens. All I can do is deal with it and let it rule my emotions or let it go! I have been letting it go lately, and wow! What a change! When ever that thing bothering me pops into my mind, I repeat, Let Go and Let God. I am powerless over the situation but I am not powerless over what I am thinking. I do control what I do, what I allow myself to think, and how  I allow myself to react. It is hard, I am retraining myself to think and react (or not to react at all) differently.

In case you haven’t realized by now, my Higher Power is God. I talk to Him all the time in my mind. I believe in Him because I am human and I have the need to know there has GOT to be something more. I don’t consider myself Crazy Mary, (a woman who had scripture written ALL OVER her car and rode around town screaming scripture all the time when we were kids), but I do believe I will spend eternity with Him and not Satan. I am scared of evil. It is mean, just plain mean, evil. When I am good, I feel good. I like to feel good, so I should do good. I pray to God to protect my family and friends against evil. I am blessed and I thank God every day, sometimes every minute for what He has given me.

I implore you to find your Higher Power!

I have been fighting a battle within my mind. It’s tough. I am a tired soldier. My husband had to go away for a bit and I was in the situation to keep up alone, with no best friend by my side. I had to revert to single life, taking care of the house, job, yard, bills, school, you know, the normals. I am not going to lie, my husband is the best! He is not one to shy away from hard work. He takes excellent care of his wife, I am beyond blessed to have him by my side and I am forever grateful for him in my life. To say I love him is a huge understatement, I adore him, I honor him, he is a big part of me.

Of course, my mind and thoughts creep in that are not welcome. I consider it my job to reject wrong thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. Sometimes it’s hard. Other times, it’s not. When things are going great, it is easy. When I am feeling down, it is much harder. Almost like a battle. When it gets hard to fight, I should stop, put my shield on, and fight back. My kids help me. Yes, they can be challenging at times, but they prove to me that I can do it. Maybe just in smaller doses. For instance, I had an observation today in my classroom, my assistant principal was observing me and how I teach. I always get a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it comes to observation time. My job is very hard and I work overtime to try and make it go smoothly. I have been teaching for 32 years. I am not one of those “sleep at my desk” teachers, I am up, around, trying, trying, trying. Making sure everyone is engaged and at least trying to pay attention. But, there is usually something I forget to do when someone is watching me. I know I am a good teacher, just being there everyday for them is a huge feat that some people can not do. Another battle. Trying to teach them how to interact socially is a huge issue unlike any other. But, we did it! I think the lesson went great, even if it doesn’t say so on paper, I know it was great. And, my husband is on his way back, battle almost won! I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I also want to take a minute to thank all the people I know and know me that encourage me, even without knowing I am going through a tough time, thank you, I am blessed by knowing you!

I’ve been down in the dumps lately. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to lift myself out. It got me to thinking about my dear, childhood friend Dierdre. I sometimes wish we could go back to those late nights drinking huge cups of coffee with tons of cream in them in the triangle house. We would then pass out, so tired, yup, after a huge cup of java. I wish she could come over but I have a cat. She is very allergic. I love my cat Oreo, he keeps me company when the house is quiet, he follows me around too like he wants to know what I’m doing and why, he’s interested. Then I got to thinking, he never goes outside! He isn’t one of those cats who dart when the door is the slightest bit open, he shys away, he has no desire to see what’s out there. I wondered why, then thought maybe because every time we come through the door, we’re overloaded with bags to put down, drop everything and sit, just sit, and sigh. When the weather is bad, we run in, shut the door quick, what’s out there? he must think, it must be bad, cause they are always shutting it out.

I know there is more, I’ve seen it, I just can’t seem to remember. It’s all around me, I just have to learn to see it again, find it, grab it, keep it. Pull it out when I need it, where is it again? There it is! Shayna texting me a picture of the baby in her belly! 🙂

Have a great night everyone.