Author: joysha2@aol.com

This might be a hard one to read. I haven’t written in so long and a million thoughts are running through my head right now. A lot has happened in my life since last time I’ve written. But, I told myself, y’all probably know how I feel, jumbled, so I might as well write.

First thing, is I got divorced. Officially, and legally. When I was younger, everyone used to say, “Oh, I’m sorry.” Now, you know what everyone says when I tell them? “Congratulations!” It isn’t supposed to be a happy time I thought, but it is. Don’t get me wrong, I was married and it was a marriage. We just weren’t going the same way, we wanted different things, and instead of staying together unhappily, I’m glad he left so we could both be happier. And, I used to feel like a failure, but I’m really not. I tried the very best I could and it wasn’t good enough… so off to be good enough! For me! I am good enough for me! And coincidently, it feels great! It really is too bad we couldn’t make it work, he didn’t want to, I offered to, but it will never work if only one person is trying, so here I am, off to be good enough!

Sometimes freedom comes with many things. Yes, you are freed from something but another thing just might come into the picture that might enslave you again. Don’t let it! I chose to return to dating sites, because as you all who know me, know I am typically an outgoing, fun, talkative, eccentric person to know. And with the pandemic, we definitely have to use different means of meeting someone. I figured out that I am not “in the market” for a husband. I seriously would just be happy to find a good friend to hang with. I was involved with someone awhile back and like a fool, I kinda fell in love with him, but again, he didn’t want that. I’m glad we are still friends and not enemies with a bad breakup. We still remain to be very close friends. He understood that going through a divorce is tough, and he was there to listen to me. I am kinda cute though, I can’t believe he didn’t fall under my spell… of course I am just kidding…

So, I really don’t know where I am going with this, I think my purpose was to just announce it officially on the blog and Facebook, social media, to make it REALLY official, not because a judge signed it! (I don’t know how to insert the crazy laugh emoji here)

I really am loving life right now and whatever God throws at me, He will help me handle it I am sure. I can feel the joy bubbling up again…

Have a great night everyone! Love, love, love you! Oh, and SPRING IS COMING, I KNOW IT!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

COVID. Crap. I am so sick of it. I don’t care if it’s made me a better person. I’m good now. Just the worry and wondering was enough to drive me crazy. Definitely teaching myself to give up and let go. Whatever happens, happens. I’ll deal with it then. I can’t stand the power of other people in my life. I need to stop letting them have power over me. From normal everyday interactions at the grocery store, to nurses holding my test results from me until they are ready to tell me. No one holds that power but me. Time to take the reigns back. I’ve had enough of a break, I like it better knowing what’s going on. From all the new friends I’ve met in the past six months, I thank you. From Delaware to New York City…. I love you all for the things you’ve taught me! Finished. DONE. Watch out, I’m coming back better than ever.

(Oh, btw, my COVID test was negative)

Wow! How amazing does joy feel? My heart and soul just feel like bursting!

I just got back from the first communion in a very long time at church this morning. Nothing like it. The music was loud, went right through you, you know, like a loud concert. Just lifted me up so high! The music was upbeat, happy, bursting with joy. There is nothing like the feeling joy gives you when it comes from your heart. Notice I didn’t write “happiness.” It’s been told to me happiness comes from your situation, or circumstances, but joy comes from your heart, deep down inside your soul, joy. Maybe that’s why it feels so great, because it comes from deep down inside you.

My name is Joyce, and I just googled it to make sure, but my mom always told me it means “joy.” Google says it means “lord,” or a derivative of the name “Joy,” I still think it means joy.

For reasons I have not revealed yet, I have been fighting depression, anxiety, loneliness, and a bunch of other mental situations, for mostly the duration of this COVID CRAP, but today I was lifted out and into JOY!!!! Thank God!

I am wishing you JOY today, deep down in your heart! It is fabulous. Have a wonderful day!

If you are anything like me, it’s hard for me to accept help. I don’t know why! Is it because I think I can do it myself? I should do it myself? I think I am a perfectionist (Virgo) and think it has to be perfect and I am the only one that can do it perfectly. I AM NOT!

So my childhood friend, I’ll call her Dee for now, came over today and seriously, she is a workhorse. She loves the sun, heat, and hard work. She is also so incredibly motivated. She gets me motivated even on the days I just want to lay around. I have a huge yard. Even though I did help doing the front lawn, she cut the entire lawn, TWICE! My grass was very long and the guy that usually does it took a vacation (how dare he???) I am so very thankful for her.

My neighbor, John is also one of those people. I just felt funny asking him for help all the time, I don’t know why. Last week during the storm, I finally asked him for help, when Marianne and Google just couldn’t. My beloved hot tub stopped heating the water. I have to get rid of it, but how to drain it? Internet was no help. But I had an idea, and so did John. It worked beautifully. Hot tub is drained, ready for its replacement (this week hopefully I can put the new one together). He also fixed several other things around the house that needed fixing. I am also very thankful for him.

If these two people hadn’t offered help, I doubt I would’ve asked them, because it might mean I’m not perfect. But I am so glad they did. I am forever grateful for wonderful, helpful friends that are placed in my life.

So, if you are struggling with something, it’s okay to ask for help! I think maybe it humbles us just a bit too, which is usually good, to make sure we don’t forget we need others. So, if you need help with something and need some help, ask! There are still people out there who are willing to help, and everyone feels good afterwards.

I wish everyone a terrific night and a fabulous tomorrow!

PS. If you newly subscribed to my blog by email, I thank you very much! I hope you continue to enjoy my thoughts.

What decisions do you have to make? Are they futile and meaningless? Or are they life changing, earth moving or spiritual awakenings? I seem to be making more and more decisions everyday as a new school year approaches quickly. My decisions aren’t mostly about the coming school year, although I have many! Most of them are of my personal life, of when and where to pay for this or that “before I have to start school” is my deadline I guess.

I do this every summer, and if you are a teacher, you know what I mean. At the beginning, like in June, I am all gung ho on all the projects I want to finish. I work, organize and clean until July comes and I feel I deserve a break, a relax time. Now it is August, my body has finally adjusted to the late sleep ins, (when of course, it’s time to start practicing getting up early…) the daily grind of my three hour exercise routine (when am I going to find the time when school starts up again?!) and the daily project completion. I have done very well this year! Projects done, new living room, exercise is going great, lost a bunch and headed for 20 more, my house is way more organized than it was, outside gardens are tended to… I have done some amazing stuff this summer. The best of all was the decision to become myself again, I had lost ME, but I am happy to report I AM FOUND. That was my earth changing decision, after all, I think the world missed ME.

So… just a friendly reminder. Don’t lose yourself, decide to remain who you were created to be, and make those ever so important decisions. Have a terrific night, I know I will!

Change, no one I know likes it, including me. I used to like it in my younger years, because it was so exciting! What would happen? Can’t wait to see where I’ll end up, and with what I end up with. Now, as I am older, eh, not so much. I am happy just where I am, what I have that I worked so hard for, and where I see myself going. Content.

Change is the only thing we can count on to do what it says, change. At first, it wasn’t exciting in the least bit, but now, as I am getting used to it, it’s not so bad! I might just well be in a better place! Now, it gets exciting again! What will happen? Where will I go? What will I be? The unknown has suddenly become unexpected.

With places starting to open up, I have this certain excitement rising within me. Yes, I did the outdoor dining thing, but last night, I actually went to a pub and had a nice cold beer and burger, it was sweet. PARX Casino is opening next week, and I plan to go there too, maybe I’ll win something!

Not only is the outside changing, the inside is too. New paint, new gardens, new furniture, thanks to my daughter and childhood friend, we are creating a totally new space… now that kind of change is welcome! Thanks ladies! After weeks of eating right and healthy, exercising three times a day, my body is also changing, for the good!

Have a great day/night!!! I know I will. Love you.

It’s April, 2020, Easter weekend. The world is griped by the Corona Virus. I know we won’t ever forget it, but it’s an airborne illness that can cause death. Anyone can get it, just by someone breathing on you. Personal space has never been so important. I can’t help but think of the Bible story of the two cities, Sodom and Gomorrah, where God wanted to destroy the cities because of their wickedness. Abraham begged Him not to until he found at least ten good men. Well, the story goes on with Lot’s wife looking back and turning into a pillar of salt.

Some of my readers don’t believe like I do, but hasn’t this made us stop and think of what’s important? Really, everyone is supposed to stop, (even though a lot of people aren’t), the world is changing. No longer are professional sports, theaters, entertainment venues, the number one topic of conversation, millions of businesses are effected. Every aspect of life is changed. Just now, I get a notification of public transportation must be cut by 50%. When I want, or need to go out of my house, I have to stop and think. Do I really need what I’m going out for? This morning, I needed some things. I look in my linen closet to check what I already have. Yup! I have a new breathing machine filter, new mask for the machine, a new shower curtain, a new bath mat, and tons of food in the freezer for dinner. My husband thinks I’m a packrat, and yes, I may be. But guess what? We have everything we NEED for awhile. He’s glad I got that two for one sale on kielbasa, that forty pack of toilet paper for $20, months ago.

If anything, maybe this is just a pause to decide what we really NEED or just WANT. Thank God. I just wish more people get the message as I see many cars still on the road when we were ordered to STAY HOME. They just don’t get it. Even schools are closed and I am learning a whole new way to teach and love my kids from a distance.

PS. I absolutely LOVE all the stories of people helping people but HATE the stories of the dying.

PPS. I absolutely also LOVE all the people who are helping during this pandemic, who normally go unnoticed. Thank you to grocery workers, nurses and doctors on the front caring for these people even when they are right in the middle of the virus. I don’t know if I would do that, wait, yes, I think I would.

Lessons I’ve known but don’t practice enough.

1. Clean, clean, clean.
2. Stay home, except for things you NEED, not WANT.
3. Respect EVERYONE, even the behind the scenes people.
4. Life doesn’t revolve around what the TV says.
5. Professional athletes are cool, but not worth trillions of dollars.

Let’s just take a great PAUSE, please. I want to stay alive to see another grandchild.

Crazy! I can’t believe why my mind thinks I am last on the list. I am always taking care of everything and everyone else, and I am always last on the list. I don’t mind really unless I have a million things to do of my own… lesson plans, grading, cleaning my house, etc. Then I start to get stressed. But as soon as I catch up I am fine. And especially when my wonderful daughter helps me, I thank God for her everyday. She helps me take care of myself, I can’t imagine what I’d do without her.

So, I have been walking on a painful foot for months now. I thought, just sit down, rest, take some tylenol, put ice on it. And it would give me temporary relief. Then I would get up the next morning, work all day, run here, run there… sharp shooting pain would return right when the day was trying to wrap up. What was it? I thought, maybe its my arthritis really bad on my foot? Maybe its that planter facisitis thing? It couldn’t be that, it isn’t coming from the bottom of my feet, it is on the top of my foot! Craziness!

Anyway it was so painful I called for an appointment. Don’t you hate it when the doctor says “Where does it hurt? Here?” and then he proceeds to push down exactly where it hurts? Um… YES! THERE! Duh…. by the way, he said it was acute tendonitis, dang, that’s painful stuff! He said I have very flat feet, virtually no arch at all and it is stressing out the tendon from the heel to the top of my foot, or something like that. I just wanted relief from when he pushed down where it hurt!

Anyway, if I had gone sooner maybe I wouldn’t be in this huge boot from foot to knee and hobbling around like a handicapped person. Take care of yourself! Take the time! Love you Ashley.

Let’s face it. Life is just a series of good and bad. When life is good, good things are happening, when life is bad, it sucks. If you are like me, you try to have many good things happening so you enjoy life more. If bad things are happening you try to change it quickly for the better! I don’t know about you, but I like being happy.

I like to take myself from one happy thing to another, if along the way something bad happens, I have to resolve it quickly so it won’t bring me down. Sometimes you can see clearly, other times, you can’t see beyond the hurdle. Dr. Chris is one of the good things!

I was having problems with a herniated disk in my neck, I had to seek relief because it was an overwhelming pain in my body. Even though it was in my neck, it stretched to my back, shoulders, legs, everywhere it seemed. I went to a massage therapist, and tried a chiropractor here in town. That visit did absolutely nothing. I started asking around and landed upon Dr. Chris. Relief! Not only did he help my neck, he is a good guy to be around. He is happy, offers good advice and listens to you. He makes good things happen! As soon as I mentioned this blog, and my fundraising ideas, he didn’t shun me off and stop the conversation, he wanted to hear more on how he could help! He’s a good guy, a healer that I want in my corner.

Thank you Dr. Chris! Not only for healing my neck, but healing my thinking for awhile!

If you have good people in your life, talk to them often! It is good medicine!

Have a great day!

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What a day! It started out nervously, anxious, wondering. What would he be like? Would he be mean? Resentful? Unforgiving? Holding a grudge? Nope! None of those! He was perfect! Let me down easy for the not so good stuff, cheered me on for the great stuff, even was very personable, forgiving, no grudge, he was understanding, smart, nice, friendly, happy, healthy, open minded, lovable… he was perfect.

When I was 17, I got pregnant. Couldn’t have a baby and couldn’t have an abortion. Let’s face it, I was barely done high school. I knew it would be a hard road. Some people called me selfish. Some people called me mean names. I didn’t care, for once in my life I was going to do the right thing. My parents cried and yelled at me. It was hard telling my grandparents. They were disappointed. One side of the family told me “we will share the responsibility while you go to college” his parents said “we will pay for the abortion.” I didn’t want to do what they said, I figured, he’s got half of me in him, he’s got to be somewhat cool. I decided to give him up for adoption, there’s got to be plenty of people out there who would LOVE to have a baby! I decided to use Catholic Social Services and planned out his life for him. Simple demands that I hoped they would follow. (Open to being catholic, open to college education, able to have siblings, grandparents, not biologically able to have children on their own… etc.) I thought they were reasonable demands and not to far fetched. I wouldn’t know if they followed them anyway, but it was nice to know it was out there.

Every year on July 8th, I would say a silent prayer for his safety, and wish him a happy birthday and hope that he was in a good space, he was. In time, we began to talk on the phone, (when he was 30, he came looking for me and found me, I agreed to start talking) he seemed to be well enough, a smart man. I wanted to wait until he was ready to meet me in person. Today was that day! He was so awesome! He’s cute, smart, and the perfect package for some cute, awesome woman (yes, he’s looking). Such a good man, I am so blessed, thankful, grateful, and happy he was raised right! Oh! by a Ukrainian couple! English is his second language! Isn’t that awesome too?????

Have a fantastic night! I know I will!!!