Month: March 2018

I have been fighting a battle within my mind. It’s tough. I am a tired soldier. My husband had to go away for a bit and I was in the situation to keep up alone, with no best friend by my side. I had to revert to single life, taking care of the house, job, yard, bills, school, you know, the normals. I am not going to lie, my husband is the best! He is not one to shy away from hard work. He takes excellent care of his wife, I am beyond blessed to have him by my side and I am forever grateful for him in my life. To say I love him is a huge understatement, I adore him, I honor him, he is a big part of me.

Of course, my mind and thoughts creep in that are not welcome. I consider it my job to reject wrong thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. Sometimes it’s hard. Other times, it’s not. When things are going great, it is easy. When I am feeling down, it is much harder. Almost like a battle. When it gets hard to fight, I should stop, put my shield on, and fight back. My kids help me. Yes, they can be challenging at times, but they prove to me that I can do it. Maybe just in smaller doses. For instance, I had an observation today in my classroom, my assistant principal was observing me and how I teach. I always get a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it comes to observation time. My job is very hard and I work overtime to try and make it go smoothly. I have been teaching for 32 years. I am not one of those “sleep at my desk” teachers, I am up, around, trying, trying, trying. Making sure everyone is engaged and at least trying to pay attention. But, there is usually something I forget to do when someone is watching me. I know I am a good teacher, just being there everyday for them is a huge feat that some people can not do. Another battle. Trying to teach them how to interact socially is a huge issue unlike any other. But, we did it! I think the lesson went great, even if it doesn’t say so on paper, I know it was great. And, my husband is on his way back, battle almost won! I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I also want to take a minute to thank all the people I know and know me that encourage me, even without knowing I am going through a tough time, thank you, I am blessed by knowing you!

I’ve been down in the dumps lately. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to lift myself out. It got me to thinking about my dear, childhood friend Dierdre. I sometimes wish we could go back to those late nights drinking huge cups of coffee with tons of cream in them in the triangle house. We would then pass out, so tired, yup, after a huge cup of java. I wish she could come over but I have a cat. She is very allergic. I love my cat Oreo, he keeps me company when the house is quiet, he follows me around too like he wants to know what I’m doing and why, he’s interested. Then I got to thinking, he never goes outside! He isn’t one of those cats who dart when the door is the slightest bit open, he shys away, he has no desire to see what’s out there. I wondered why, then thought maybe because every time we come through the door, we’re overloaded with bags to put down, drop everything and sit, just sit, and sigh. When the weather is bad, we run in, shut the door quick, what’s out there? he must think, it must be bad, cause they are always shutting it out.

I know there is more, I’ve seen it, I just can’t seem to remember. It’s all around me, I just have to learn to see it again, find it, grab it, keep it. Pull it out when I need it, where is it again? There it is! Shayna texting me a picture of the baby in her belly! 🙂

Have a great night everyone.